I was so relieved to hear my bride commenting on how nice our visit was. I still wish she could do that without denigrating her own feelings. There's no doubt that they were valid, and it bothers me to hear her dismiss them by suggesting otherwise.
It is almost as if we can't escape from this idea that our feelings are right or wrong. Still, it's good for us to recognize that the assumptions behind them might be, or might be rooted in an accurate or inaccurate view of a situation. My wife's feelings had not changed much in three decades, were based on my actions, and therefore were completely reasonable both in their origin and in their persistence. Yet the assumptions and dynamic that first produced her unease thirty years ago were no longer at work today. It took experiencing our changed dynamic in this new relationship environment to help her feel more at ease. I'm so grateful that she was willing to give that a shot, that we've become secure enough in our relationship together that this was possible.
Having reinforced that I won't disregard her or demean her, or put her in situations in which she is likely to flounder, I'm confident we will continue to grow together as a couple secure in each other's love.
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