What a wonderful marriage encounter circle meeting last night. I think we really needed that. We've gotten complacent about the things we agreed were important, and when we do I find my self-talk grows largely negative. Nurturing our relationship is so important, especially when so little of our life together just flows naturally together. We're such different people, and that is a good thing as long as we're channeling ourselves into our relationship together. When we're not, our tendency is to each drift in different directions.
Last night reminded me once again that this isn't a problem unique to us, nor is it especially difficult to address with just a bit of attention to where we're going. And the specific dialogue question was a great reminder of the relationship foundations on which we've built this house.
This spring, when we learned we had termites, we addressed the problem decisively. We didn't spend a lot of time agonizing over what was wrong, or how we wished this or that was different. We just took the action we needed to free our house from this threat. That's a good metaphor.
Timely, too, was last night's reminder that I need to have my attention and effort fixed on the things under my control. I've observed time after time that a marriage gets in trouble when each person focuses on what they think is wrong with the other, rather than when I simply hone in on how to best love my wife today. There's no point in scolding myself too severely for starting to forget about that. Let me just instead love my bride for the wonderful person she is.
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