Status quo

I was concerned this morning that you might be feeling as if, as long as everything feels status quo, we must be okay.  I'm concerned that you may have the idea that nurturing our relationship isn't going to still be hard work, that we've reached a point at which we can just put things on cruise control and they'll take care of themselves.

I understand that our circle's dialog challenge intimidates you, that just thinking about dialoguing makes you feel inadequate and insecure, even though you've been doing so well with it when we do.  I don't have the slightest interest in pressuring you into something that makes you feel that way.  But what do you propose, then, as an alternative that will give us the daily time we need to nurture our relationship together?  There has to be something, because what we're doing now isn't working.  My idea of a life together involves more than simply sharing a home and a bed . . .

I love you, deeply.  But we can't take that for granted.  We've got to keep tending.  We need time together, not just in the same room, but actually sharing activities, sharing our feelings, hopes and fears.  And we need to keep reaching outside ourselves, too.  I'm pretty sure the idea isn't for us to live in a "contentedly ever after" enclave for the rest of our lives.  Those two things - working on our relationship and opening ourselves up to others in appropriate ways - need to go hand-in-hand.