Conforming (phase 2), Who is Jesus? What quality do I long and pray for? - AtaDc (step19), session 1

In this Step we contemplate the identity of Jesus, first how he defined himself, then also what others discovered in him. - Orientation and meditation, step 19

I have had a personal encounter with Jesus and have been learning who he is for over a quarter century since. But anyone who suggests that they know Jesus because they have walked with him probably hasn't even met him yet. This will be a good step!

The gospels present Jesus not only through stories such as  Healer and Exorcist but call him Son of Man, Son of God, Rabbi or Teacher, Lord and in the book of Revelation he is the Bridegroom of the Church, the Lamb, and the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the faithful witness, Alpha and Omega and so on. Similarly you can find a lot of definitions in the various letters in the New Testament and  in writings throughout the history of Church. Below we will list some texts for the upcoming prayer sessions, but the companions can continue to find who is Jesus in the Scriptures. - ibid.

I think, too, that this step will be one for me to revisit when I have completed the Exercises for the first time, as each title and revelation of Jesus helps us to know him more intimately and provides us with another way to choose to be conformed to him.

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?" Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. - Jn 14: 5-6

Each of these three titles Jesus uses to refer to himself is worthy of a full meditation, but that will get me too far behind on the calendar. Since I get to return to this step later, perhaps that will allow for further treatment of this passage, if I am still so inclined at that time.

I start with my namesake, who deserves so much more attention that the "doubting Thomas" moniker with which we one-dimensionalize him. This is an earnest query, I think. It is true for all of us that we don't know where Jesus is going, and therefore do not know the path before us.

I am the Way.  It has been true from the beginning. The eternal Son has always been his people's way throughout all of salvation history. (Listing them all would be exhausting!) No matter how often we lose our way, when we seek Jesus we find the Way again, for he will always be the Way. Do I not know the way through grief and pain? Let me embrace my Lord and he will carry me through it in ways that I will not even fully understand in retrospect, in this life, at least. Do I not know the way to forgive another? Let me receive my Savior's forgiveness knowing how undeserving I am of it, and beg him to help me forgive when I know not how; he will make a way of forgiveness. Do I not know the way of his will? Let me ask him to finish conforming my will to his, and then examine my own will with an eye wary for signs of self-interest. Do I not know how to live out his love in the life to which he calls me? Let me look to lay down my life and take up my cross, and he will return my life to me filled with joy that can only be provided through my cross and which I cannot hope to anticipate.

I am . . . the Truth.  How often we get swallowed up in what we perceive to be the truth of our life, only to discover later that we were focusing on only the tiniest piece of the truth rather than the Truth which holds all truth. (Thanks Fr. Neuhaus.)  The enemy's most fruitful work is to focus our attention on the truth and help us lose sight of the Truth. He may be the father of lies, but his best lies are a misinterpretation of the truth that ignores the Truth.

I am . . . the Life.  We cling to this life and its experiences, full of fear that it will slip away from us without our having done all that we long for. In our fear, we mistake experiences for Life. We rebel against God, certain that he is depriving us of joy when we are really longing for is a choice of death instead of Life. Jesus is the Life, and as we walk in him he provides us with everlasting life, which he intends for us to have to the full (Jn 10: 10).  Sometimes we must lay down our life as we understand it to receive Life as only he can give us and only inasmuch as we do not insist on preserving our own life (Mt 16: 25, Mk 8: 36, Lk 9: 24).

There is so much more to be said about each of these, but perhaps my post-cycling heart rate will now allow me to fall asleep!  Lord, please let me awake refreshed in the morning, determined to embrace you as my only way, truth, and life!