It just occurred to me . . .

. . . that my "healthy" life mostly consists of living as well as I can with the aftermath of decisions I made when I was unhealthy.

I suppose that's true for a lot of folks, though.

A stumbling stone

He will be the Truth that will offend them, one and all

A stone that makes men stumble, and a rock that makes them fall

And many will be broken so that He can make them whole

And many will be crushed and lose their own soul

Michael Card, Scandalon

I remember when I was confident that, by God's grace, I was in the former group.

Now I guess I'm just trying not to be a different kind of scandalon for others ever again.

A holistic approach

I keep telling people: the greatest work God (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) desires is to cause a single heart to fall in love with Him. There is no greater miracle, and the conversion and healing of the heart is the motivation for every other sign Jesus performed and every prayer that God answers for us now. Today's gospel reading, in which Jesus heals the paralytic after forgiving his sins (Mt 9: 1-8), illustrates this wonderfully.

Sometimes we accept the "this world" view of a situation as the full view. There are things with which we struggle that indeed have elements that are merely part of our own personality and brain chemistry and the habits we have formed over time. There are medical conditions which are solely a matter of their medical explanation. But in many cases, there are also spiritual components of these challenges which we ignore, asking God only for the grace to bear them rather than to solve the spiritual part of them. Unforgiveness alone plays a role we little understand in our bodies and our psyches, and it is also not entirely a matter of exercising our own will.

Until we bring the power of the cross, and the freedom which Christ has won for us thereby, to bear against these bondages which have come into our lives through our responses to a variety of hurtful, unhealthy, or sinful situations, we will only be addressing a part of the problem. Just as someone who deals with chronic - or even situational depression - may do themselves an injustice by not availing themselves of the professional help that is available, even more futile is our refusal to trust in the power of the cross to address any spiritual element of our struggles.

There is bondage in our lives from which Christ wants to set us free, as part of the whole solution for which He is providing.

I get this, too

I never even considered, but I hear so much of myself in this.

Two scriptures

I'm not going to look up the chapters and verses for these right now:

Whoever loses his life for my sake, and that of the gospel, will save it.

There is no greater love than this: to lay down one's life for a friend. 

There are times when I can clearly see the truth of these words of Jesus.

There are other times when the hope they offer seems far from me.

I wonder whether the chief difference between those times might primarily be on where my attention lies, and on whether I am trying to take the life that I have long since laid down for Christ and for those I love back up for myself.

There is no gift of God . . .

. . . without the potential for great misery, if we receive it wrongly.  But in His goodness, God will keep us safe from the misery of each gift if we will seek that gift only according to His will, as a means of being drawn closer to Himself.

Deeply moved and affirmed

I can't believe I haven't shared about this already. I think it's because I was too busy dealing with my Father's Day anxiety by the time I was back at a computer to share it.

The whirlwind trip to MD for my wife's brother-in-law's surprise 70th birthday party was wonderful in several ways. A yummy crabcake lunch was followed by an unexpected afternoon visit to Annapolis. A miscommunication kept me from visiting my favorite aunt, but there was really nothing to be done about that. Then came the surprise party. I got to keep watch, and ask people whose cars Al would recognize to park around the side of the building. I was able to let everyone know when the guest of honor had arrived, and he was indeed taken by surprise.

After dinner, each of his surviving sons briefly shared about what his dad meant to him. After he took a moment to affirm them in return, as he approached to hug them, I noticed that he kissed each of them on the lips, and that they returned the affectionate gesture. I think I'd seen this exchange between them before, though it has been a couple of years for me. It is rare in our culture, of course, to see men express their love for each other in this way. I felt privileged to witness it, and a little jealous to not have sons of my own with whom to share in this beautiful exchange, made more touching by its rarity.

After the party, my wife and I did a bit of grocery shopping for the next day's drive home before returning to her sister and brother-in-law's house. He opened his cards and gifts, and soon it was time for me to retire for the evening. My long day had started about 4:30 a.m., and I knew I was on the hook for most of the drive back. I hugged my sister-in-law, who thanked me for lending her my wife and for coming. As I approached to hug her husband, Al kissed me on my lips.

This is a man who knows my worst moments, and who understandably took some time to come around to me thereafter. We have long since put that behind us, but I had no inkling that he would ever bestow on me the same gesture of love which I had just seen him share with his own sons. While I was surprised, I was also deeply touched, and am grateful that the unexpectedness of the moment did not cause me to hesitate to respond in kind.

I am still moved, beyond what these feeble words can express.