Conforming (phase 2), God So Loved the World - The Birth of Jesus (step 9), session 2

Oh, I've gotten terribly behind. I should be finished this step by now.

The Shepherds

And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Be not afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will come to all the people; for to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." - Lk 2, 9-11

When Christ comes to us, our first response is often fear of the unknown, unfathomable, wondrous person before us and of what we are sure he is going to ask of us.  Surely the One who leaves the throne of heaven for our sake will not tolerate our shrinking back from our mission, and we know not where it will take us, what he will require of us.

Each year as we celebrate the birth of the Savior, I always consider Calvary, the foreknown path which the eternal Son accepted along with his Incarnation. It is good for us to avoid the trap of romanticizing the glory of angels and the wonder of Magi led by a star, detaching it as we so often do from Jesus' redemptive mission. But while that mission was "finished" at Calvary, it comes into its fullness in the Resurrection, the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, and the mission of the Church: the birth of Christ in the heart of each beloved son and daughter of God and our formation into the Body of Christ.  The Body suffers passion and death, but the Body is resurrected! This is good news of greatest joy!  Now: how can we be resurrected without dying?

And they went with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. - Lk 2, 16

Let us not "go, if we must," and worship the eternal Son of God, but go "with haste" and encounter him in his humility, his vulnerability; let us grow with him in infancy and childhood and adulthood; let us enter into his suffering and his resurrected joy! Let us bear lovingly, knowing that it is Christ himself who bears within and through us.

All night long . . .

. . . they echoed in my mind:

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

" . . . or wishing you'd die in your sleep"

I know you're now wishing you could take these words back. I'm glad you were honest with me about your feelings, though, even though they hurt me. I know you love me, and I love you, too.

Conforming (phase 2), God So Loved the World - The Birth of Jesus (step 9), session 1

The Birth of Jesus

Conforming (phase 2), God So Loved the World - The Birth of Jesus (step 9), session 2I'm glad I waited to start this step until now. I really wouldn't have wanted to get into today's reading (Luke 2, 1-14) any earlier. In a sense, I already did, on Monday at the Christmas at Fairhaven service.

I'm pretty far right now from being able to reflect effectively on this Scripture. The angels may have proclaimed peace on earth among those with whom he is pleased (Lk 1, 14), but the lack of peace in my heart causes me to wonder whether he is the slightest bit pleased with me. I don't know how to proclaim his love into the lives of those around me, especially the one who thinks she is hearing judgment and condemnation and an accusation of weakness instead of a call to live in God's love and strength. But when we think we know what we need and that we aren't getting it, the birth of a baby in a manger two thousand years ago can remind us that God meets our needs in ways we'd never think possible, let alone expect.

Conforming (phase 2), God Prepares a Way for Our Salvation - The Mystery of the Incarnation (step 8), Session 6

Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, "Sacrifices and offerings thou hast not desired, but a body hast thou prepared for me; in burnt offerings and sin offerings thou hast taken no pleasure. Then I said, `Lo, I have come to do thy will, O God,' as it is written of me in the roll of the book." - Heb 10, 5-7

Not a very long reflection on this one, except for my gratitude that Christ came for this purpose and a reminder that this has major implications for us if we are the Body of Christ.

Light in the darkness?

This was a pretty big theme last night at Fairhaven. It was a way nice Christmas concert - what I could take in of it, anyway, for dealing with our grandchildren's issues. I know that Jesus is the light of the world and hope for all. But it often feels as if all my hopes are for the next world.

Conforming (phase 2), God Prepares a Way for Our Salvation - The Mystery of the Incarnation (step 8), Session 5

Well, somehow I have misread the calendar and not realized I was supposed to be finished with this step on Saturday. So another step tonight, then one in the morning, and we'll double up as time permits during Christmas. (yeah.  right.)

Yes, the LORD’s eyes are on those who fear him,
who hope in his merciful love,
to rescue their souls from death,
to keep them alive in famine. - Ps 33, 18-19

Sometimes - a lot, of late - I feel like the Israelites in the desert, having grown accustomed to and then weary of this gift of manna with which God feeds my soul. I grumble in my mind against the tedium and challenges of gathering my daily bread, rather than being appreciative that God has given me what I need to sustain me.

For instance, when the battles against and ADHD and ODD six-year-old have again reached the point at which she rages against how mean I am as I try to hold her to some standard of behavior, to draw a line that doesn't allow her to intrude on her siblings physical persons or to destroy property, or attempt to teach her obedience when it is so completely against her nature, it is easy for me to be blinded to the patience with which God is blessing me, keeping me from losing my patience and lashing out against her in anger. Instead he is giving me a capacity to love her which I know that she recognizes, after the outburst when she is calmed.

Tonight was hard.

The worst of this happened in the car as I waited for her mom and grandma to take care of their business in the fabric store. It was challenging for me to not blame them - especially my bride - for needing to do this errand now, with the little ones already beyond their limit of being still and patient. It is a challenge for me to see that God is keeping me alive in the famine of my life, through them, as he supplies emotional support and connection that I sometimes judge as too meager for my needs.

Tonight was hard.

Yet I hope in his merciful love to provide what I need. I know why the manna must be gathered daily: it is to teach us to rely on God's providence rather than our own or even rather than the gifts by which he supplies my need.

There is much more in this wonderful Psalm, but tonight this is how he is keeping me alive in famine. I know: it is bountiful banquet, too.

Our soul is waiting for the LORD.
He is our help and our shield.
In him do our hearts find joy.
We trust in his holy name.
May your merciful love be upon us,
as we hope in you, O LORD. - Ps 33, 20-22

Weird dream

Funny thing. Last night I dreamed that someone I've always wished would regularly read these thoughts I express was actually asking me about something I posted here. I was pleasantly surprised, and glad to answer her questions.

Now, if only that would happen with her in real life.

You could argue that she shouldn't have to, and I wouldn't put up too much disagreement.