And the crowds that went before him and that followed him shouted, "Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!" - Mt 21, 9
If I recall correctly, in addition to serving as the pre-processional Gospel reading on Palm Sunday, the triumphal entry is also sometimes used as the Gospel reading on the feast of Christ the King. Even those of use who consider ourselves delivered into his kingdom fail to fully live under his rule. Sometimes this is due to our stubbornness, in other cases because of our ignorance, and sometimes because the flesh is weak.
But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, "Hosanna to the Son of David!" they were indignant . . . - Mt 21, 15
Yes, sometimes this is us, too, when God seems to ask something of us that contradicts our sensibility. How judgmental of God and of our fellow sojourners we become! Humble obedience seems beyond our grasp. Only the Holy Spirit transforms us into subjects who eagerly seek and heed the King's commands to glorify him with our lives.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
Conforming (phase 2), The parable of the Kingdom of Christ (step 7)
One main principle of the following exercises is that we will recognize the will of God at the present moment with the help of the contemplation of the life of Jesus. - Step-by-Step Retreats, step 7
The orientation and meditation of this step begins by invoking the Gospel reading we heard yesterday, which is then the scripture specified for the fourth session of this step. Therefore I will not now reflect on this passage. Since I have three weeks for this step and seven sessions specified, it's probably good for me to spend a couple days just on the introduction to this step.
I'm a bit concerned that this whole retreat might end up too left-of-center for my liking, with too much emphasis on social justice rather and too little on being vessels of Christ's love. It is hard to explain the difference between those two things, because from the outside they can look like the same thing. I'm not reaching conclusions on that, though. In this retreat, and I'm trusting God to work in me the growth and maturity that I still lack rather than trusting my ability to have it all figured out.
In logotherapy Viktor Frankl stresses life’s unconditional meaningfulness, since meaning can be found in every situation - also beyond the possibility to work and to love, even in suffering and death. - ibid.
(Part of my caution about this retreat stems from these continual references to Christotherapy and logotherapy. That aside . . . )
I find myself struggling to find the meaning in the situations of my life, yet being willing to struggle, to trust that it is actually there. We are facing so many circumstances right now that are so maddeningly beyond our control that we don't see God's hand at work in. And there are other frustrating ones within our control for which I don't see any signs of growth or hope.
The orientation and meditation of this step begins by invoking the Gospel reading we heard yesterday, which is then the scripture specified for the fourth session of this step. Therefore I will not now reflect on this passage. Since I have three weeks for this step and seven sessions specified, it's probably good for me to spend a couple days just on the introduction to this step.
I'm a bit concerned that this whole retreat might end up too left-of-center for my liking, with too much emphasis on social justice rather and too little on being vessels of Christ's love. It is hard to explain the difference between those two things, because from the outside they can look like the same thing. I'm not reaching conclusions on that, though. In this retreat, and I'm trusting God to work in me the growth and maturity that I still lack rather than trusting my ability to have it all figured out.
In logotherapy Viktor Frankl stresses life’s unconditional meaningfulness, since meaning can be found in every situation - also beyond the possibility to work and to love, even in suffering and death. - ibid.
(Part of my caution about this retreat stems from these continual references to Christotherapy and logotherapy. That aside . . . )
I find myself struggling to find the meaning in the situations of my life, yet being willing to struggle, to trust that it is actually there. We are facing so many circumstances right now that are so maddeningly beyond our control that we don't see God's hand at work in. And there are other frustrating ones within our control for which I don't see any signs of growth or hope.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
My calling is not . . .
. . . to spend (at least parts of) seven evenings a week watching television - even shows I like; I'm not just talking about the ones I disdain - just so that I can be with my bride.
But if I'm not going to do that, I need to do something better with my time, not just something different.
And when I subsequently go to bed alone most evenings, I need to do it without this resentment.
But if I'm not going to do that, I need to do something better with my time, not just something different.
And when I subsequently go to bed alone most evenings, I need to do it without this resentment.
The second phase: Conforming
One is “conformed” to Christ in every single spiritually and morally good act without the necessity that it should be performed for consciously supernatural motives. - Step-by-Step Retreats, introduction to the second phase
This second phase is subtitled "To conform the reformed, or the illuminative way." In terms of the number of steps, it is more than twice as long as the first phase, and this make sense to me. The process of getting the Holy Spirit to conform me to the image and likeness of Christ should be a longer and more painstaking one than to regenerate me in the first place.
There is much emphasis in this introduction about how Christ can be at work in and through us even if we are unaware of it and do not attribute this work to Him. True though this may be, it seems to me that the more important emphasis for a pilgrim who is sufficiently aware of the journey to be making such a retreat as this is on participating in and recognizing the Spirit's conforming work within us.
This second phase is subtitled "To conform the reformed, or the illuminative way." In terms of the number of steps, it is more than twice as long as the first phase, and this make sense to me. The process of getting the Holy Spirit to conform me to the image and likeness of Christ should be a longer and more painstaking one than to regenerate me in the first place.
There is much emphasis in this introduction about how Christ can be at work in and through us even if we are unaware of it and do not attribute this work to Him. True though this may be, it seems to me that the more important emphasis for a pilgrim who is sufficiently aware of the journey to be making such a retreat as this is on participating in and recognizing the Spirit's conforming work within us.
Friday, November 21, 2014
I am tired of this exercise
No, not Ignatius.
The exercise where an abuser makes the news or the television or social media and everybody righteously condemns him or her and I have to convince myself again how I'm different.
Twice today, and counting.
The exercise where an abuser makes the news or the television or social media and everybody righteously condemns him or her and I have to convince myself again how I'm different.
Twice today, and counting.
Reforming (phase 1), Hell and Mercy (step 6), session 7
Maybe I'm already there.
I mean, is my calling really to sit on the sofa and consume banal entertainment and try to find some form of fulfillment in that, for the sake of nurturing our unity? And then to go to bed alone (again) while she partakes of more?
I'm feeling pretty ungrateful this morning for God's abundant gifts. Maybe that is the beginning, at least, of hell.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all within me, his holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and never forget all his benefits.
It is the LORD who forgives all your sins, who heals every one of your ills,
who redeems your life from the grave, who crowns you with mercy and compassion,
who fills your life with good things, renewing your youth like an eagle’s.
The LORD does just deeds, gives full justice to all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses, and his deeds to the children of Israel.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and rich in mercy.
He will not always find fault; nor persist in his anger forever.
He does not treat us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our faults.
For as the heavens are high above the earth, so strong his mercy for those who fear him.
As far as the east is from the west, so far from us does he remove our transgressions.
As a father has compassion on his children, the LORD’s compassion is on those who fear him.
For he knows of what we are made; he remembers that we are dust.
Man, his days are like grass; he flowers like the flower of the field.
The wind blows, and it is no more, and its place never sees it again.
But the mercy of the LORD is everlasting upon those who hold him in fear,
upon children’s children his justice,
for those who keep his covenant, and remember to fulfill his commands.
The LORD has fixed his throne in heaven, and his kingdom is ruling over all.
Bless the LORD, all you his angels, mighty in power, fulfilling his word, who heed the voice of his word.
Bless the LORD, all his hosts, his servants, who do his will.
Bless the LORD, all his works, in every place where he rules.
Bless the LORD, O my soul! - Ps 103
There are a number of verses herein trying to speak to me; ordinarily I would selectively quote and reflect upon a few of them. Today my dark mood and cold heart seek only to rebut them. I know this Psalm is truth, yet it does not reach through the shroud I have wrapped around myself.
Last night in my bride's frustration I had the good sense to simply offer frequent hugs, which she appreciated. Today I feel certain that there are none that would bring me comfort.
This concludes phase 1. By no means do attribute my foul mood to these Exercises. I know I have my attention in the wrong place despite them, not because of them. I pray that Grace may keep my feet upon the path that I would forsake.
I mean, is my calling really to sit on the sofa and consume banal entertainment and try to find some form of fulfillment in that, for the sake of nurturing our unity? And then to go to bed alone (again) while she partakes of more?
I'm feeling pretty ungrateful this morning for God's abundant gifts. Maybe that is the beginning, at least, of hell.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all within me, his holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and never forget all his benefits.
It is the LORD who forgives all your sins, who heals every one of your ills,
who redeems your life from the grave, who crowns you with mercy and compassion,
who fills your life with good things, renewing your youth like an eagle’s.
The LORD does just deeds, gives full justice to all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses, and his deeds to the children of Israel.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and rich in mercy.
He will not always find fault; nor persist in his anger forever.
He does not treat us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our faults.
For as the heavens are high above the earth, so strong his mercy for those who fear him.
As far as the east is from the west, so far from us does he remove our transgressions.
As a father has compassion on his children, the LORD’s compassion is on those who fear him.
For he knows of what we are made; he remembers that we are dust.
Man, his days are like grass; he flowers like the flower of the field.
The wind blows, and it is no more, and its place never sees it again.
But the mercy of the LORD is everlasting upon those who hold him in fear,
upon children’s children his justice,
for those who keep his covenant, and remember to fulfill his commands.
The LORD has fixed his throne in heaven, and his kingdom is ruling over all.
Bless the LORD, all you his angels, mighty in power, fulfilling his word, who heed the voice of his word.
Bless the LORD, all his hosts, his servants, who do his will.
Bless the LORD, all his works, in every place where he rules.
Bless the LORD, O my soul! - Ps 103
There are a number of verses herein trying to speak to me; ordinarily I would selectively quote and reflect upon a few of them. Today my dark mood and cold heart seek only to rebut them. I know this Psalm is truth, yet it does not reach through the shroud I have wrapped around myself.
Last night in my bride's frustration I had the good sense to simply offer frequent hugs, which she appreciated. Today I feel certain that there are none that would bring me comfort.
This concludes phase 1. By no means do attribute my foul mood to these Exercises. I know I have my attention in the wrong place despite them, not because of them. I pray that Grace may keep my feet upon the path that I would forsake.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Reforming (phase 1), Hell and Mercy (step 6), session 6
My toe still hurts, but it is better than last week. Hell is not like that.
I am watching as one loved one after another makes choices that are clearly against God's will and (redundantly) not in their own best interest. Perhaps hell has a degree of that. The parable of the rich man and Lazarus suggests as much.
I continue to experience moments of brightness that get me through the frustrations of life. Hell is certainly not like that.
I guess that last maybe leads me (finally!) to something else to reflect on about hell. There have been moments in my life that have had me very close to ultimate despair. I suspect that hell may be eternal ultimate despair. I certainly don't look forward to my darkest moments, so I know I want no part of such a dark eternity.
Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is remitted. - Ps 32, 1
I am indeed abundantly blessed.
Blessed the man to whom the LORD imputes no guilt, in whose spirit is no guile. - Ps 32, 2
This one I'm not so sure about. I'm sure I have previously expressed my admiration for those who are simpler than I perceive myself to be. I know that there is guile in me, thoughts and feelings that I feel I must both suppress and hide for the sake of those whom I love. I suspect this may be common for people in lifelong relationships, and so I don't take myself too extensively to task for it. Yet I must be guileless before God, who knows my every thought; this is the One with whom I can and must always be my true, honest self.
To you I have acknowledged my sin; my guilt I did not hide.
I said, “I will confess my transgression to the LORD.” And you have forgiven the guilt of my sin. - Ps 32, 5
Yes, God is quick to forgive the contrite sinner. Still my transgressions remain sometimes too dear to me, though, and contrition slow.
So let each faithful one pray to you in the time of need.
The floods of water may reach high, but such a one they shall not reach.
You are a hiding place for me; you keep me safe from distress;
you surround me with cries of deliverance. - Ps 32, 6-7
You are indeed my hiding place, my refuge, O Lord. You have delivered me from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. Help me to seek it in all things!
I am watching as one loved one after another makes choices that are clearly against God's will and (redundantly) not in their own best interest. Perhaps hell has a degree of that. The parable of the rich man and Lazarus suggests as much.
I continue to experience moments of brightness that get me through the frustrations of life. Hell is certainly not like that.
I guess that last maybe leads me (finally!) to something else to reflect on about hell. There have been moments in my life that have had me very close to ultimate despair. I suspect that hell may be eternal ultimate despair. I certainly don't look forward to my darkest moments, so I know I want no part of such a dark eternity.
Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is remitted. - Ps 32, 1
I am indeed abundantly blessed.
Blessed the man to whom the LORD imputes no guilt, in whose spirit is no guile. - Ps 32, 2
This one I'm not so sure about. I'm sure I have previously expressed my admiration for those who are simpler than I perceive myself to be. I know that there is guile in me, thoughts and feelings that I feel I must both suppress and hide for the sake of those whom I love. I suspect this may be common for people in lifelong relationships, and so I don't take myself too extensively to task for it. Yet I must be guileless before God, who knows my every thought; this is the One with whom I can and must always be my true, honest self.
To you I have acknowledged my sin; my guilt I did not hide.
I said, “I will confess my transgression to the LORD.” And you have forgiven the guilt of my sin. - Ps 32, 5
Yes, God is quick to forgive the contrite sinner. Still my transgressions remain sometimes too dear to me, though, and contrition slow.
So let each faithful one pray to you in the time of need.
The floods of water may reach high, but such a one they shall not reach.
You are a hiding place for me; you keep me safe from distress;
you surround me with cries of deliverance. - Ps 32, 6-7
You are indeed my hiding place, my refuge, O Lord. You have delivered me from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. Help me to seek it in all things!
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