Incomplete picture

The Prodigal drastically underestimates the encounter that awaits him because he never truly understood his father. His memory is vague, and he does not see the whole picture. He remembers some kindness - that his father treated his employees well - but . . . (ellipsis in original) - Neal Lozano, Abba's Heart

The simple truth is that if there is any truth at all to what we believe, we all underestimate the encounter that awaits us. God's love and mercy are beyond our imagining. Our finite minds are bound by time as well as space, and our Father is infinite and timeless. So anyone who believes that they see the whole picture is fooling themselves.

That said, I don't think that's the case for Neal. Rather, he is merely pointing out how our - everyone's - incomplete understanding of God's love keeps us from running home to the Father at a full tilt, the way that He runs to meet us. Of course, since Jesus and the Father are one, His Incarnation and all that He did on earth, culminating in His passion, death, and resurrection, show us the lengths that the Father goes to meet us. Despite these incredible steps, it is still incumbent upon us prodigals to humbly turn toward home. And it is not possible that we do this without also welcoming back those who are prodigal from us.

Ugh

When I can't post about what's really on my mind, sometimes I just have to share a couple of the little things.

First off: I'm lonely, and I miss you.

Secondly, I'm feeling tempted more strongly than in a long time. I hate that, and I feel as if I'm going to yield. But I'm choosing not to.

Also: I always envisioned that my life would be full of close, deep friendship. And it isn't. 

Finally: I know that I am Your precious son. Thank You for loving me. Help me to see Your plan for my life, seeing as mine hasn't exactly come to be quite as I imagined it.

Unworthy

In his long journey home, the Prodigal faces a hard truth - he is not worthy to be called his father's son [ . . . ] We distance ourselves from the Prodigal to avoid the risk he is taking. Our hearts protest: "No, I am worthy. I deserve better. I work hard. I am a good person - at least, I'm better than most . . . . The gatekeeper will have to let me in to the Father . . . . Surely I am good enough to get into heaven. We argue our case, justifying ourselves by excusing our failures and pleading our successes. We try to earn the love we are afraid to ask for. - Neal Lozano, Abba's Heart

Yes, this is Fr. Spitzer's "comparative identity" at work again. Only by receiving the mercy and grace that are freely offered us do we stop comparing ourselves to others and become vessels of God's love in their lives, too.

There is no more undeserving Prodigal than me. I used to say that with a harsh spirit of judgment toward myself, but now it is just an honest and grateful recognition of God's love and a desire that all should know it.

Coincidence?

I think it's funny that somnolent should be the WOTD, and soporific the second most-popular lookup, on the day after I had to leave work early due to accidentally taking two of my one-per-day medication, which made me very drowsy.

Who I am

And who would I be if I were no longer angry, for my anger, in a sense, defined me? Without it I might become boring. I might lose my creativity. I might lose my intensity, which I saw as some kind of wall that kept me separated from the rest of the world. I would have to deal with the hole that would be left when the anger vacated. And the size of the hole frightened me. - Evelyn Bence, Leaving Home, as quoted in Abba's Heart

I completely get this. It can apply to what we think of as our positive traits, as well, when we allow them to become more important to us than they should be.

I am a son of the Father, the King and Creator of the universe. No other trait or talent I possess compares to that truth and identity.

The Source

The Scriptures say that every family takes its name from the Father (see Eph 3:15). In the Greek language, the words for "father" (pater) and "family" (patria) are closely related. In other words, every family finds its source and identity in the Father. He is the reason we are, and we find our place and our purpose in relationship with Him. The source of all that love, of family and of home is the Father Himself. For all eternity, the Father has loved the Son and the Son has loved the Father. - Neal Lozano, Abba's Heart 

This is why St. John's gospel (Jn 1:3) proclaims of Jesus, the Word, that through Him all things were made, and Colossians (1:16) says that all things were created in Him, made through Him and for Him. It is the love of the Father for the Son that set all of creation into being and sustains it, and their love for us which caused the eternal Son to enter time, to show us the nature of love - of their love, of which every other love except that inspired by the Holy Spirit is but a distortion.

(This is the part I've been wanting to reflect on since I first read it on Sunday, two days ago!)

I had something I wanted to say

Now I just hope that when I have a moment to really revisit it I can still remember what it was.

Meanwhile, I remember reading this thought later, still rooted in the prodigal son's story: Sin does not just separate us from God; it also separates us from ourselves. - Neal Lozano, Abba's Heart

If we think about the nature of Jesus' temptations, we will see how this is true for us, too.