Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Teaches the Way - Arriving to a Decision (cont.)(step17), session 4

"And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

"And in praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this:

"Our Father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you;
but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
- Mt 6: 5-15

I find myself walking carefully when I offer to pray with someone. I have a bit of a weakness when it comes to the first part of this teaching. I'm not so prone to unforgiveness as I perceive many to be, which just means that I have a different area of vulnerability. This is closely related to my previously-observed tendency to be proud of things that are simply a gift to me, for which I am no more responsible than the color of my eyes. I want to be thought of as wise, insightful, intelligent; even when I try to give God credit for his grace being at work, I sometimes want to be acknowledged for having the wisdom, insight, or intelligence to do so. This brings me back to the Litany of Humility again.

In the latter verses of this passage, Jesus emphasis on forgiveness causes me to wonder once again whether this may is the biggest obstacle to truly walking with him, both now and in eternity. The Shack is a novel that illustrates the great challenges we must sometimes overcome in order to forgive the most egregious offenses against us and those we love, and the great lengths to which God goes (is willing to go, has gone) in order to help us do so. The Unbound model of spiritual deliverance names forgiveness one of the keys to spiritual freedom, and so many people for whom we pray have gotten wrapped around their pain - often unwittingly - by not forgiving those who have hurt them.  I wonder if unforgiveness might be the most common and stubborn sin that must be washed away in Purgatory.

Today's word

kidney \KID-nee\ - 3. sort or kind especially with regard to temperament <a nice helpful guy, of a different kidney entirely from the … Secret Police — Paula Lecler>

I was led to this definition by the Name That Synonym question at the end of today's WOTD write-up. While most everyone I know will be familiar with this WOTD, I found its etymological path interesting; I guess familiar words that developed their current definition through misunderstanding intrigue me. (And I'm pretty sure I've never encountered this meaning of "kidney" before.)

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Teaches the Way - Arriving to a Decision (cont.)(step17), session 3

The scripture passages for today's session consists of several verses from the next chapter of the Sermon on the Mount, Mt 6:3-5, 19-21, and 24. Unlike the previous session, most of the intervening verses aren't skipped entirely but are included in subsequent sessions, so I don't feel as if I need to fill in any of that valuable content now. I am beginning with verse 1, though, rather than verse 3, as these first two verses provide context and are not covered in other sessions.

Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. - Mt 6: 1

If I were a better follower of Christ, this would be the chief reason I don't post links to my blog posts more often on FB. Instead it's more a matter of being careful how much of myself I put in the face of everyone who knows me. There are parts of my makeup and my past - more than just that chief thing, really - that I worry about being judged for, and I'm still trying to follow Fr. Matthew Kelty's advice to me to not burden most people with what they would take on as an obligation to forgive me for who I am and the things I have done.

It would be better if my reason for not sharing links to my blog on FB would be more in line with Jesus' admonition here. Part of me still wants to be special, to have some insight from the Holy Spirit that helps others have a deeper relationship with God, as if such any such insight would be of me instead of from God. This would validate my existence, right?

But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, - Mt 6: 3

I'm reminded of one of the first phrases from the wonderful Litany of Humility: From the desire to be esteemed, deliver me, Jesus. We so long to be thought well of. I think this is part of the "comparative identity" that Fr. Spitzer spoke of with such insight: we draw so much of our self-image in comparison with others, and having others think well of us validates our judgment. God is calling us to a different approach, and we need to be careful not to allow this to become a variation on the other one, something like saying to ourselves, "Oh, look what good I am doing in secret!" 

(I believe my Lenten journey would be well served by praying this Litany daily. It's pretty clear that the concern I mentioned after quoting Mt 6: 1 above is an example of the desire of being approved.)

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. - Mt 6: 20-21

It can be such a challenge for us to allow God himself to be our treasure, yet he is a treasure that can never be exhausted, and his love infinitely exceeds those we chase after in its stead.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. - Mt 6: 24a

Jesus may be primarily referring to material wealth and possessions, since he specifically refers to mammon later in the verse.  But this maxim is true of whatever our other master might be, including (but not limited to) comfort, power, pleasure, fitness, novelty and thrills. We will invariably resent God for keeping us from these things which we mistake as being desirable, when the truth is that we cannot receive all that God desires for us if we serve whatever our other master may be.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Teaches the Way - Arriving to a Decision (cont.)(step17), session 2

This entire step is focus on the Sermon on the the Mount. I'm so glad, because we so often equate the sermon with the beatitudes, and lose sight of everything in these wonderful chapters thereafter, or at least fail to realize that St. Matthew reports them as part of the same event. There is so much additional wisdom in the rest of the sermon.

Just in the parts of chapter 5 which this step and this session (Mt 5:21-26.38-42.43-48) skip are warnings against relying on our righteousness (20), lustfulness (27-28), tolerance of sin (29-30), contributing to the adultery of another (31-33), and substituting theatricality for simple earnestness (34-37).

So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.  - Mt 5: 23-24

How often we try to insulate ourselves from one another yet maintain our relationship with God. How often we undermine our relationship with God, who loves our brother and sister so much that he gave his very life for him, for her, in how we treat this beloved child of God.

Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. - Mt 5: 39

This is a difficult passage to be wise about. I know that we, as followers of Christ, do a poor job of living it.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you . . . For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? - Mt 5: 44, 46

No matter what feelings we may have toward others, we are called to want the best for them. This can be a great challenge, and it turns out is closely linked to the concept of forgiveness, a topic on which I have thought and grappled and written so much that I've given it its own label. It turns out that someone who offends us needn't have the slightest repentance for their wrongdoing for us to be able to forgive them - but see more of my writing on this topic if you think that by that I mean we should be doormats for dysfunctional behavior by others.

Today's word

thanatology \than-uh-TAH-luh-jee\ - the description or study of the phenomena of death and of psychological mechanisms for coping with them

Now knowing the relationship between Thanatos and Hypnos, I might have a chance of recalling this word should I encounter it in the future.

Conforming (phase 2), Jesus Teaches the Way - Arriving to a Decision (cont.)(step17), session 1

Rather than rehash a couple sessions which I found less than inspiring the first time around, and in the interest of making sure to arrive at Palm Sunday ready for step 21 as recommended by the calendar, and given that steps 17-19 each contains scripture passages for 7 sessions, I am forgoing further repetition of the reflections of step 16 in the interest of moving on to step 17.

I like the prayer focus for this session, which was the same in step 16, to ask for an intimate knowledge of our Lord, who has become man for me, that I may love Him more and follow Him more closely. I especially appreciate this in light of my understanding of what it means to know another in what I consider the truly biblical sense (about which I've written a little near the bottom of this post, and which I'm sure I've expanded more on elsewhere but can't find anything on a quick search). The knowledge we are to have of God is not to be primarily about him in such a way that we understand "how God ticks," as if such a thing were possible given that we rarely truly understand how our most intimate lifelong companions tick. Rather, we are called to know God in relationship that deepens throughout our life and fills us with an ever greater love in return for the initiating love that God has for us.

So this first session focuses on the Beatitudes from St. Matthew's gospel (Mt, 5, 1-12, though for some reason they've only listed through verse 11, which is a silly stopping point).  Initially I felt disappointed, because I feel as if I've hashed through this passage my whole life. But in the context of the aforementioned prayer for these steps, when we see them as a means of knowing Jesus better, they aren't so intimidating and unapproachable, and I have certainly not nearly exhausted them.

Sometimes I think that we think of Jesus as being "beyond the beatitudes," as if they comprise a lesson that he imparts to us without having any need to heed them himself.  Particularly, a couple of them seem antithetical to how we understand Jesus. We don't think of him as being very "poor in spirit" or "meek," for instance.  Yet as we look at the arc of his life, we may recognize times when he was very much the embodiment of each beatitude, though there are certainly some which he clearly modeled throughout his life and others of which we have fewer examples.

So I reflect on each of these beatitudes now as an insight into who Jesus is and how he lived, thinking of a specific example in which Jesus demonstrated it. And in doing so I find that I don't necessarily gain a better intellectual understanding of Jesus, but that instead I know and love him just a bit more deeply.

Today's words

chatoyant \shuh-TOY-unt\ - having a changeable luster or color with an undulating narrow band of white light

What a wonderful new word. I'm not sure I'll ever have cause to use it, but I really like it! (Oh, who am I kidding; I pretty much like all new words.)

macaroni \mak-uh-ROH-nee\ - 1. pasta made from semolina and shaped in the form of slender tubes 2. an affected young man : fop

How could I have sung this song all these decades and never learned this second definition? It makes great sense, though, now that I know the history.