Conforming (phase 2), Baptism and Temptation of Jesus - Three Degrees of the Love of God (step15), session 1

. . . a healthy human psyche is characterized by a good sense of humor, too and we find also this in the personality of Jesus as the gospels present him. The humor of Jesus is subtle and manifests a great gift of wit and irony, precise timing and play of words, aimed to heal and convert the listener. - Step by Step Retreats, Step 15: Baptism and Temptation of Jesus - Three Degrees of the Love of God, Orientation and introduction

Humor as a tool of spiritual growth. What a concept!  I wonder who came up with it?

I have actually long considered certain passages in which I could picture Jesus chuckling as he underscored a message, or thought he might have been needling his disciples a bit where others read a tone of chastisement. I think that considering this possible aspect of Jesus' personality leaves us with better insight into both his humanity and his divinity. There are places where it obviously wasn't on display, such as when he cleared the money changers out of the temple.

But even in the accounts of his temptation following his baptism there could be elements of humor in his responses, as if he can't quite believe that the devil would trying this or that particular tactic against him. (I'm pretty sure we're headed to one of these passages later in this step, so I'll leave further discussion for when we move into that text, after I devote another session or two to this introduction.)

Today's word

moxie . . .

Okay, we all know how to say it and what it means, but I had no idea of its origin. (It's pretty rare for me to list a word for that alone.)

Conforming (phase 2), Three Types of Attitude in Scriptural Case Studies (step14), session 3

He entered Jericho and was passing through. And there was a man named Zacchae'us; he was a chief tax collector, and rich. And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not, on account of the crowd, because he was small of stature. So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was to pass that way. 

And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, "Zacchae'us, make haste and come down; for I must stay at your house today." 

So he made haste and came down, and received him joyfully. And when they saw it they all murmured, "He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner." 

And Zacchae'us stood and said to the Lord, "Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have defrauded any one of anything, I restore it fourfold."  

And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, since he also is a son of Abraham. For the Son of man came to seek and to save the lost." - Lk 19, 1-10

I was wondering what passage they'd use for the third type of attitude. What a perfect choice! I've reflected on Zacchae'us often over the decades, but this gives me a new context for considering his example.

It seems to me that, as is true for so many other aspects of a sincere faith journey, the first requirement we must meet to model this attitude is an understanding of our proper relationship with God in Christ Jesus. So often we approach what God asks of us as if he is something other than a loving Father who always wants what is best for us, and who graciously bestows it on us despite our unworthiness to even be called his sons and daughters. We see God instead as trying to limit our joy by imposing restrictions or obligations on us, and this keeps us from seeking what he truly desires for us in our lives.

I am certain that Zacchae'us was under no delusions regarding his stature within the community (pun intended), and understood what a great privilege it was that Jesus would come to his home. When this is true of us, we tend to receive Jesus joyfully, too! But when we fail to understand what a gift God has given us in adopting us as sons and daughters and delivering us from our sin, everything else we do becomes a struggle in the undercurrent of this denied truth.

We have heard a lot of talk lately about being people of gratitude, and that is very important, but if our first appreciation is not for the most important gift of our unmerited salvation, putting on the proper attitude of humble obedience to God in each thing will be impossible for us.

Conforming (phase 2), Three Types of Attitude in Scriptural Case Studies (step14), session 2

Okay, I've been looking ahead at this retreat, and I'm really kind of annoyed. There are steps coming for Holy Week that are assigned a single day but which contain seven scripture passages! I don't know how anyone outside of a monastery would have a hope of doing them justice. I think I may work ahead a little if the intervening steps provide the option. Since there are only three passages assigned for this step, which I started only a couple days behind, I believe I'll try to work ahead a little starting now.

As they were going along the road, a man said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head." 

To another he said, "Follow me." But he said, "Lord, let me first go and bury my father."  But he said to him, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." 

Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home."  Jesus said to him, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."  - Lk 9, 57-62

It's pretty clear how these represent the second of the three attitudes. Each of these people express their desire to follow Jesus, and he reveals to each of them how they are unwilling to put into action all that doing so really entails. We ought not judge them harshly, though, for we are often the same way. We misunderstand what it will truly mean to follow Jesus. I, for instance, am hesitating to speak the truth in love to someone because I am afraid of what it might do to our relationship.

It is all well and good to be convinced that a certain path represents God's plan for us, but unless we are willing to truly commit to that path we may be further removed from God's will than those who don't try to follow it in the first place. I believe it is less pleasing to God to disregard what we believe he wants of us than to not care what that might be in the first place.

Conforming (phase 2), Three Types of Attitude in Scriptural Case Studies (step14), session 1

This step will use a scriptural example of each of the three attitudes elucidated in the previous step (which I included in my final session as I found it most revelatory to consider the three attitudes together). In this step I expect it will make more sense to reflect on each scriptural example separately. Again, I will not be limiting myself to financial considerations here, though I can see that this area is also due some attention.

The First Type:

And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: `Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'" 

And he said to him, "Teacher, all these I have observed from my youth." 

And Jesus looking upon him loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." 

At that saying his countenance fell, and he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions.  - Mk 10, 17-22

Each of these examples is certain to imperfectly mesh with the three illustrations from the last step/session. This man represents the first type because he knows, because Jesus has told him, that he should give away his wealth.  In the previous step, the first couple did not consider whether it was truly God's will for them to give away their wealth; they simply assumed that they should based on their own understanding. (This is how this scriptural example departs from the first type in the parable.) However, the underlying result is the same: the man goes away and appears unwilling to follow through on what Jesus has told him to do, just as the first couple failed to allow their belief that they should give away their wealth to actually spur them into action, to truly change them.

We need to be careful how we decide what we believe God is telling us to do. That was a key part of the Three Types discussion from the previous step.  The biggest obstacle to our truly seeking God's will is that we are afraid that God will tell us to do what we do not want to do. Sometimes he does! At other times, he merely reminds us that what he wants for us is more trustworthy than what we want for ourselves. This is true in our finances, our relationships . . . in every part of our lives, really.

For instance, I can't help but wonder: did our decision last night to retake control of our laundry situation today - when we really didn't have the cash on hand yet to do it - interfere with a way that God wanted to provide for our needs, or perhaps for someone else's?

I see the people around me choosing to do whatever it takes to get their needs met, without consideration of whether that choice contradicts God's clearly-revealed plan for our lives.

Am I doing any differently?

I know that I'm trying to.

Conforming (phase 2), Three Types of Attitude toward Possessions (step13), session 3

The first couple is convinced that they should give away the money in order to be free of it, but they never do it actually. They have the mistaken concept that holiness equals radical renounce(ment) but they cannot do it and in consequence they live with a sense of guilt because of the attachment. This couple honestly would like to love God, but their underlying attitude is fear (of) him; they are afraid of a demanding God and find the heights of sanctity too frightening. They live and die remaining in the same situation without resolving the problem and really answering God’s call to them.

The second couple decides beforehand that they should keep the money and use it for good, for example investing it and from the profit regularly give to the poor. They desire to be free of the attachment to the money but in the same time also want to keep it, convinced that they know how to use it for the greater glory of God and how to "save their souls." Also this couple remains in their attachment which they don’t recognize either, they decide without discernment with an attitude of bargaining and a sort of pretense.

The third couple too wants to be free of attachments, but they do not decide immediately either to get rid of the money (or) to keep it. They don’t act without discernment, without seeing how this sum integrates in their life and relationship with God. Their attitude is the abandonment and openness toward God, a childlike trust in him as they try to understand for what he inspires them and what is the better for them. When Jesus in the gospels tells the disciples to become like children, he calls to this attitude of trust and dependence on God: "Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." (Mt 18:3) . . .  - Step by Step Retreats, step 13

Continuing my focus on non-monetary application from my previous two sessions:

I have attempted both of the first two approaches. In the first decade of our marriage, I was more like the second couple. I was determined to cling to what I knew I needed regardless of the impact it had on my bride and our relationship. If she had a problem with one of my friendships, I considered it "her problem." This created an adversarial relationship between us that tended to both separate me emotionally from my bride and draw me closer to my friend in emotionally unhealthy ways. My refusal to truly trust God to provide for my needs resulted in my determination to provide for them according to my own understanding.

Later I became more like the first couple. Understanding the pitfalls of my previous approach, I became unwilling to enter any friendship with the slightest potential for me to misuse it in that way. There were, of course (well, it's "of course" to people who know me well) good reasons why I overcompensated in this way. Perhaps God has used this period to provide enough distance from the earlier one to break a habit that I might have tended to fall back into. The thing is, when I finally reached the point of being able to find something more like the middle ground, I still had to break some of the old habits.

I think I'm still only beginning to see how to take each friendship as it comes, accepting in each case God's guidance over how to conduct it, being truly sensitive to my bride's needs as well as my own and my friend's, and above all seeking to truly honor and glorify God as I trust him in the conduct of my life. But my remaining attachment to the perceived needs that I am trying to have met, by insistence to God that he isn't providing for me in some way, is a clear indicator that I still have a long way to grow.

I think that, if we were journeying through the exercises together, my wife and I would probably need to focus as much on the financial aspect of this step as we would on the relational one.

To include the obvious conclusion of this step's meditation:

From this point of view, only the third couple goes through a transformation of their desire and reaches freedom from their attachment, while the first two did not change at all or only (temporized) about it. The dynamics of this therapeutic transformation of attitudes can be applied also to the struggles of addicted or neurotic persons with their problems. - ibid.

And I suppose this last sentence probably describes me more accurately than I would like to think.

Conforming (phase 2), Three Types of Attitude toward Possessions (step13), session 2

Imagine that each of the three couples obtains a great sum of money. The way in which they acquired it is honest and morally perfect, but as Ignatius puts it "not entirely as they should have, for the love of God,"  which means that they did not search for it as a result of a proper discernment process. There are many of this kind of thing in our life; we acquired or discovered them before reflecting or even thinking about how it fits in our existence and in our relationship with God. These things are morally perfect, to possess them is honorable and they might be the source of much good, but if not integrated in our love of God they constitute a "part of that wealth that seeks to absolutize itself and therefore become the starting point of true sin." - Step by Step Retreats, step 13

First, a consideration of what either St. Ignatius or Karl Rahner (it's impossible to tell without consulting the referred resource which of these two introduced this concept; for that matter Rahner may have borrowed from someone else) means in using the term "morally perfect."  From context, they clearly can't mean anything like "incorruptible" or "not susceptible to use for sinful purposes."  It appears to mean something more like "a thing that is good so long as it is kept in its proper place." When you think about it, this applies to pretty much every gift God has bestowed on us.

In the previous session I pointed out how my own application of this most urgently needs to focus on something besides wealth and material possessions.

Let us suppose that the couples in our example desire a great spiritual freedom and as they feel the attachment to this money presents an impediment of their goal, they want to free themselves of it . . . -  ibid.

This is where I am only beginning to enter into a deeper recognition that I still need to grow. There have always been ways that I think about my life and my circumstances that I now see represent attachments that reveal, at their core, that I tend to place my trust more in those things than in God to meet my needs. I suppose that, for me, this has always been primarily true of my emotional needs. For many years, this resulted in a tendency to place too high of a priority on certain of my friendships, to the detriment of my relationship with my bride. In some cases this resulted in those other relationships taking on some aspects that should have been reserved for my marriage.  It has only been relatively recently that I have learned not to allow this to happen, and as a result my recent friendships have been more balanced.

Yet I still find myself basically complaining to God that he is not meeting my needs because of the absence of the sort of friendship that I perceive that I "need" to have in my life, as if God has ever truly neglected my needs. So perhaps this present time is itself a gift from God, as much as my recent morally perfect friendships have been, to teach me to trust in him rather than in them.