This young man we've known since infancy, Lord? Please keep hold of him. I know he doesn't want you to right now, Lord, but I also know he is in the grip of the drugs and his other life choices. We stand with his parents in lifting him up before you and entrusting him to your care. Please do whatever it takes to bring him back from the edge.
I'm afraid he hasn't hit bottom yet, Lord. I'm afraid that's what it will take. But you will be with him all the way, Lord. Safeguard him, and those who love him. We trust you.
Saturday, January 04, 2014
Friday, January 03, 2014
it's one of those days
it's one of those days
when every thought
every feeling
every moment
is confirmation
that i can't deny
i, a living lie
am living a lie
fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud
my mind accuses
all i have to give
not what it should be
when this one is gone
you must find one who
can love you for you
dissatisfaction
sin my distraction
(avoided of late)
living for others
dialing for dollars
a grateful heart beats
out an antidote
is one within me?
when every thought
every feeling
every moment
is confirmation
that i can't deny
i, a living lie
am living a lie
fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud
my mind accuses
all i have to give
not what it should be
when this one is gone
you must find one who
can love you for you
dissatisfaction
sin my distraction
(avoided of late)
living for others
dialing for dollars
a grateful heart beats
out an antidote
is one within me?
I am weak
My own struggles with purity of thought are bad enough, and I generally keep them to myself except for discussing them as appropriate with those to whom I am accountable - chiefly my wife and a couple close friends. I'll never know, of course, how weak I would be in this area without my abusers' influence in my life, particularly (his). But I think it would border on doubly sinful - blaming my own sinfulness on others: "That woman who you put here made me do it;" "That serpent made me do it." - to dismiss my own struggles as merely a byproduct of the things they (he) did to me. Whatever the causes, even wanting to be the person I am called to be is sometimes a struggle for me, and that is my own sinful nature to deal with.
Perhaps it is because they are not as weak in this area as I am that some of my fellow believers share and like (on social networks) so many things that I have to reject immediately in order to keep my own thoughts from conforming to the sexually-indulgent spirit of this age. I guess I'm glad for them, though, that they don't have to do battle against this weak spot that is my. persistent. thorn.
Perhaps it is because they are not as weak in this area as I am that some of my fellow believers share and like (on social networks) so many things that I have to reject immediately in order to keep my own thoughts from conforming to the sexually-indulgent spirit of this age. I guess I'm glad for them, though, that they don't have to do battle against this weak spot that is my. persistent. thorn.
More from Augustine on what this feast means
What man knows all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge hidden in Christ, concealed in the poverty of his flesh? . . . How great are the blessings of his goodness which he reserves for those who fear him and shows to those who hope in him? Until he gives them to us in their plenitude, we can have only the faintest conception of them . . . from a sermon by St. Augustine, bishop
No matter how much we think we know God, on this earth we remain mortal, finite beings trying to understand the eternal, infinite maker of all things. We try to understand God's love and God's motives in terms of our own, because we have been told that we are made in his image and likeness, and yet our limited time, knowledge and power and our profound selfishness fundamentally distort our experience of love. Thus we reject God because he doesn't do what we think we would do if we were endowed with infinite love, knowledge and power, and if we were unbound by time as God is. If we consider more closely the things that we say we would do (better, of course) in God's place, our stated choices would invariably contravene the free will which he has bestowed on us, unhindered by any fear of us and motivated by a love for us which is greater than we can understand.
. . . but to enable us to receive them, he who in his divine is the equal of the Father assumed the condition of a slave and became like us, and so restored to us our likeness to God. The only Son of God became son of man to make many men sons of God.
And, again, St. Augustine leads us to the true miracle of Christmas. Too often we focus on the manger, shepherd, angels and wise men, and fail to consider what it means for the eternal Son to become a mortal son. That may be best. Even the most faith-filled mind struggles to understand how such a thing can be. But let us not forget the reason: not just a baby born two thousand years ago, but our own adoption and transformation into what would otherwise always be beyond us.
No matter how much we think we know God, on this earth we remain mortal, finite beings trying to understand the eternal, infinite maker of all things. We try to understand God's love and God's motives in terms of our own, because we have been told that we are made in his image and likeness, and yet our limited time, knowledge and power and our profound selfishness fundamentally distort our experience of love. Thus we reject God because he doesn't do what we think we would do if we were endowed with infinite love, knowledge and power, and if we were unbound by time as God is. If we consider more closely the things that we say we would do (better, of course) in God's place, our stated choices would invariably contravene the free will which he has bestowed on us, unhindered by any fear of us and motivated by a love for us which is greater than we can understand.
. . . but to enable us to receive them, he who in his divine is the equal of the Father assumed the condition of a slave and became like us, and so restored to us our likeness to God. The only Son of God became son of man to make many men sons of God.
And, again, St. Augustine leads us to the true miracle of Christmas. Too often we focus on the manger, shepherd, angels and wise men, and fail to consider what it means for the eternal Son to become a mortal son. That may be best. Even the most faith-filled mind struggles to understand how such a thing can be. But let us not forget the reason: not just a baby born two thousand years ago, but our own adoption and transformation into what would otherwise always be beyond us.
Thursday, January 02, 2014
Today's words
abecedarian \ay-bee-see-DAIR-ee-un\ 1a. of or relating to the alphabet
b. alphabetically arranged 2. rudimentary
b. alphabetically arranged 2. rudimentary
I knew 1b for certain, was pretty sure 1a applied, and 2 makes sense based on 1. And this seems a somewhat appropriate word to start the year with, as well.saltatorial \sal-tuh-TOR-ee-uhl; sahl-\ - relating to, marked by, or adapted for leaping
This one from the Dictionary Devil puzzle comes a day ahead of those ten saltatorial lords . . .
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
Daily Christmas
In the very act in which we are reverencing the birth of our Savior, we are also celebrating our own new birth. For the birth of Christ is the origin of the Christian people; and the birthday of the head is also the birthday of the body. - from a sermon by Saint Leo the Great, pope
We may generally consider Pentecost as the "birthday of the church," but in the eternal scheme of things there is probably no single event of Jesus' earthly life which by itself represents the beginning of our life in him. There may be a single point in our own lives to which we might point as our conversion experience - that is certainly the case for me - yet many of us can also identify ways in which God was already at work in our lives preparing us to accept him as our Lord and Savior. So each of the historical events in Jesus' life that have significance for us can be celebrated with reverence for their connection with the life of Christ within us, without which we need not bother celebrating any of them! Saint Leo continues:
For every believer regenerated in Christ, no matter in what part of the whole world he may be, breaks with that ancient way of life that derives from original sin, and by rebirth is transformed into a new man. Henceforth he is reckoned to be of the stock, not of his earthly father, but of Christ, who became Son of Man precisely that men could become sons of God; for unless in humility he had come down to us, none of us by our own merits could ever go up to him.
There are at least two parts of that last sentence that I feel as if I should spend a little attention on. I believe I'll address that latter one first. The modern rejection of the concept of substitutional atonement seems to reduce Christ to the role of teacher revealing the way to God, rather than Christ actually being the only Way himself. All we need, some suggest, is to follow his example. They reject as quaint and outdated the concept that we are born into a kingdom in which our sinfulness is the central truth of our existence and transferred to the kingdom of God by the grace that flows from Jesus' life, death and resurrection. I believe that our rejection of this concept is a great hindrance to our effective preaching of the gospel.
Our being the stock of Christ rather than our earthly heritage is a truth that comes to greater fulfillment as we walk with him throughout our lives. It isn't that we're saved a little at a time, or gain our new heritage little by little, but it is often true that we are transformed in it through a lifelong process of growth. For the longest time following my own conversion I continued to act in - and experience the impact of - the earthly influences that abounded in my youth and early adulthood. I did not know all the ways that my former nature had its roots still sunk into me, if you will, and I often nurtured those roots either intentionally or unwittingly. It is good for us to take stock of our stock, and to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal those ways in which we must continue to grow into our new heritage and kill off our old one.
This Christmas rebirth which we celebrate is not a singular historical event in Jesus' earthly life nor in our own. Rather, we should seek to embrace our rebirth each day so that its roots may kill off what remains of our old ones.
We may generally consider Pentecost as the "birthday of the church," but in the eternal scheme of things there is probably no single event of Jesus' earthly life which by itself represents the beginning of our life in him. There may be a single point in our own lives to which we might point as our conversion experience - that is certainly the case for me - yet many of us can also identify ways in which God was already at work in our lives preparing us to accept him as our Lord and Savior. So each of the historical events in Jesus' life that have significance for us can be celebrated with reverence for their connection with the life of Christ within us, without which we need not bother celebrating any of them! Saint Leo continues:
For every believer regenerated in Christ, no matter in what part of the whole world he may be, breaks with that ancient way of life that derives from original sin, and by rebirth is transformed into a new man. Henceforth he is reckoned to be of the stock, not of his earthly father, but of Christ, who became Son of Man precisely that men could become sons of God; for unless in humility he had come down to us, none of us by our own merits could ever go up to him.
There are at least two parts of that last sentence that I feel as if I should spend a little attention on. I believe I'll address that latter one first. The modern rejection of the concept of substitutional atonement seems to reduce Christ to the role of teacher revealing the way to God, rather than Christ actually being the only Way himself. All we need, some suggest, is to follow his example. They reject as quaint and outdated the concept that we are born into a kingdom in which our sinfulness is the central truth of our existence and transferred to the kingdom of God by the grace that flows from Jesus' life, death and resurrection. I believe that our rejection of this concept is a great hindrance to our effective preaching of the gospel.
Our being the stock of Christ rather than our earthly heritage is a truth that comes to greater fulfillment as we walk with him throughout our lives. It isn't that we're saved a little at a time, or gain our new heritage little by little, but it is often true that we are transformed in it through a lifelong process of growth. For the longest time following my own conversion I continued to act in - and experience the impact of - the earthly influences that abounded in my youth and early adulthood. I did not know all the ways that my former nature had its roots still sunk into me, if you will, and I often nurtured those roots either intentionally or unwittingly. It is good for us to take stock of our stock, and to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal those ways in which we must continue to grow into our new heritage and kill off our old one.
This Christmas rebirth which we celebrate is not a singular historical event in Jesus' earthly life nor in our own. Rather, we should seek to embrace our rebirth each day so that its roots may kill off what remains of our old ones.
Someone else's resolution
We have a relative who has realized that he has been making his life decisions with an attitude toward pleasing everyone else, and is determined to turn that around this year. That can be a healthy approach or an unhealthy one. With this - as with most of life - there can be "abuses" in both directions. I am not assuming that this relative is swinging from one to the other, or that he has ever been prone to either, as I make use of the opportunity he has provided to reflect anew on this idea.
There are a lot of experiences in our lives that can prompt us to become "pleasers," and I have intimate familiarity with a couple of them, though without this particular dysfunction arising as a result. Different dysfunctions can develop out of similar causes, and the same influences that can prevent some people from finding affirmation except in others' approval also leads other people to be unable to relate to others' feelings and become self-centered, controlling or abusive.
To thine own self be true, advises Polonius in a lengthy and hasty dispensation of advice to his son Laertes as he prepares an urgent departure in Hamlet. While there is debate over the nature of Polonius' character, I believe his advice to his son to be well-intended and frequently misunderstood. To me, this maxim more properly applies to the same concept as Dale Winslow's poem, popular in the sporting world, The Guy in the Glass. Unfortunately, too many people apply this in another direction: do what pleases you.
So I hope our relative will makes his decisions rooted in respect himself for himself and others - as he has always seemed to do - and a desire to become the best version of himself, and that I will strive to do the same.
There are a lot of experiences in our lives that can prompt us to become "pleasers," and I have intimate familiarity with a couple of them, though without this particular dysfunction arising as a result. Different dysfunctions can develop out of similar causes, and the same influences that can prevent some people from finding affirmation except in others' approval also leads other people to be unable to relate to others' feelings and become self-centered, controlling or abusive.
To thine own self be true, advises Polonius in a lengthy and hasty dispensation of advice to his son Laertes as he prepares an urgent departure in Hamlet. While there is debate over the nature of Polonius' character, I believe his advice to his son to be well-intended and frequently misunderstood. To me, this maxim more properly applies to the same concept as Dale Winslow's poem, popular in the sporting world, The Guy in the Glass. Unfortunately, too many people apply this in another direction: do what pleases you.
So I hope our relative will makes his decisions rooted in respect himself for himself and others - as he has always seemed to do - and a desire to become the best version of himself, and that I will strive to do the same.
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