Shades of Grey's

My wife (and daughter) are off to Millington, just north of Memphis, for her uncle's 95th birthday on Sunday. Her dad's brother is a Pearl Harbor survivor, and I really wanted to go with them to celebrate his birthday, too, but am in the middle of a proposal cycle at work which came fast on the heels of other proposal and white paper work, so I couldn't take the time off, especially the two days that my wife insisted on having for the trip. I get that she needed to take four days, for multiple reasons. Mainly, she's not up for that long drive twice in three days anymore. That isn't what has me feeling so discouraged.

Mostly, it's just "SSDY" with the television - same shit, different year (as opposed to the standard "different day").

As is our custom, I kissed her when I got home from work last night. I then told her that I wasn't attending my scheduled (optional) meeting because I wanted us to have the time together. Monday and Tuesday night I was up until midnight working on a proposal, so even though special choir and prayer group were cancelled those two nights and I was home, it isn't as if we'd had any time together. Then Wednesday night choir was followed by an outing at the local watering hole, so we again didn't have any time to hang out as a couple. (And to make matters worse, we had a bit of a conversation hog between us and most of our favorite people, so that wasn't very enjoyable for either of us, either.) It was important to me that we have some time together last night before she left today for the weekend, so I made this a higher priority than my other options for the evening, even though I value that ministry very highly.

Instead, as my wife headed out the door with our daughter Melissa to buy groceries for her trip, she let me know that she'd be home soon . . . because she didn't want to miss Grey's Anatomy. She knows I can't stand to be in the same room with this show. I knew that an early bedtime needed to follow for both of us, so that she'd be well rested for the drive and I could start recovering from the insane work week.

I know, it isn't really any big deal. It is just the ongoing story of our life together. But there seems to be something on every night of the week that she insists on watching. I am tired of feeling alone.

(I have told her this on multiple occasions. I am done with trying, and I am tired of living with it.)