Constructive effect

The most deep-seated wisdom can be expressed in ways that are bizarre and morally odious.  The truth that something must be done about a wrong committed - that it must be punished or amends be made - can lead to vengeful and sadistic acts.  Lives are made miserable by demands for expiation that cannot be satisfied.  Many people twist their whole lives into a futile effort to make up for some great wrong they did.  Such efforts can have a constructive purpose but a destructive effect." - Fr. Richard John Neuhaus - Death on a Friday Afternoon


So, Fr. Neuhaus, you're saying it isn't just me?  I guess can buy that.  But if you're suggesting that the self-judgment I've carried has been destructive in its effects, I think I may have a quibble with you.

I'm not going to delve too deeply into some of my efforts to make up for my wrongdoing; that is due to a combination of fear over what there is to discover there and the good sense of knowing there are some balances that are best left undisturbed.  Our therapy team was thorough about helping make sure we are mostly equipped to properly manage my tendency in that regard.  There really is only one area they might have overlooked, though they did try to at least give it a cursory examination.  If they reached the wrong conclusion, it was by our insistence.  And if we were all wrong, it is far too late.  But the thing is, I happen to believe that effort has proven most constructive in its effects as well as its purpose.