There are many different ways to pray, and many different things to pray for. Is it right to pray for little, everyday things, as well as over more seemingly important matters? After establishing the context of relationships (previous post, below), I feel comfortable beginning to transition in this discussion of prayer, which is really a continuation:
Another paradox about giving self vs. giving things concerns that the way in which we give our self, which after all can be a little hard to put our finger on, exactly, is to give something more tangible: a hug, time, attention, a carefully-considered gift, help to grow, the choice to sacrifice something we want for the sake of the other (that can be a tough one, and here's another:), forgiveness when we've been really hurt, etc. But in a relationship, we can't only give big things, for a couple reasons. As human (flawed) givers, we tend to need to develop a degree of trust before we can give, and small giving helps us be able to trust ourselves for larger giving. But as receivers, we are also have a hard time accepting (in trust) gifts of others that seem, well, too much for the relationship we have with them. So all giving should serve to build up the relationship, and the giving and receiving smaller things paves the way for giving and receiving bigger things, all of which is ultimately really about giving and receiving one another to a degree appropriate for the relationship.
Likewise, in our relationship with God, God isn't primarily interested in giving us things, he primarily wants to give us himself.
So now we begin to see that it isn't merely okay, but a good idea to ask God for small blessings as well as big ones. (These thoughts aren't original; St. Paul was inspired with them long ago!) In either case, it isn't that God doesn't already know our need before we ask. It is that asking God for what we think we need, and trusting God to provide what we really need (maybe I really need to overcome a small adversity more than I need a close-in parking spot, for instance), and then seeing that God's grace was indeed active in my life in that small thing, helps me to trust God in larger ones.
Oh, the reverse is also true. As we give of ourselves to God (i.e. trusting God's revealed opinion rather than the way I wish the world worked, or putting someone else's needs ahead of my own, recognizing that I'm giving to God in them) in small things, we become more capable of trusting God's loving providence when it comes to bigger concerns.
Another relationship-related aspect of this question: what would any relationship we have be like if we could only talk about the big things, and couldn't "bother" the other with the little ones? We may have experienced something like this in our own teenage years, and see it from the other side as our children go through those challenging teenage years. Didn't it almost seem as if every conversation with our parents was about something major? As a kid, for a while it got to where I avoided my mom so as to avoid the next big discussion. As an adult, I won't swear I dreaded those conversations with my daughters as much they did, but I bet it was closer than they'd realize. Isn't it true that dealing with the little things together along the way increases our capacity to deal with larger issues when they arrive? It nurtures our relationship, and gives us the solid foundation we need for the big stuff. And if we don't deal with life's little things together, don't we feel too far from the other to entrust ourselves on the things that are most important to us? Oh, we might still consult on big things, if they're important enough, but really tend to rely only on ourselves and overvalue our own opinion. As it is, don't we feel a little nervous about how the other person might respond?
I suppose that's just that trust issue again from another perspective. Still, just as discussion with our friends and loved ones over the small matters helps nurture our relationships to provide a forum for the larger ones, likewise turning to God over the "little things" nurtures that relationship as well. God, of course, knows and loves us intimately already. Prayer in all things helps us to begin to know God more intimately, as well.
Don't think for a moment this is an ideal I've achieved! God, please draw me nearer . . .
No comments:
Post a Comment