Today's definitely not new word

From the Dictionary Devil puzzle:

miserable - being in a pitiable state of distress or unhappiness

70 days and counting until my annual window of opportunity.

I suppose I'm just too needy.

What does it matter if I can't trust the people I love, right? Or if I'm not always loved in return?

I think I need another reason.

This is so complicated

And consuming.

Citation

The other puzzle in Merriam-Webster's daily rotation of which I regularly partake (I've often referred to the Dictionary Devil in my vocabulary posts), this matching puzzle serves up a variety of trivial topics. A puzzle today focused on Belgians in the arts, one of whom was Georges Simonen, a prolific and widely-published 20th century author. The final sentence of his description reads, "The central theme running through his fiction is the isolated existence of the neurotic, abnormal individual."

So, he wrote about characters like me.

Why else do I only become close friends with people who are leaving?

There's a hazard . . .

. . . in where I am emotionally right now. With having entered the forgiveness process, at least it isn't compounded by a desire to hurt in return. Still, I am finding it harder to deny a part of myself that I have always suppressed.

This is revelatory. It means that I have probably not been mostly motivated by the right thing all along.

Feeling pretty defeated now

and alone